#24: Life Secrets and Tips

Today's tip is vital to our happiness and self-confidence... 

Learn to be unaffected by the words of others. Most people get very upset when they are called negative names by others, but there is a simple trick to overcoming this. Here it is: If I went up to you and called you a fire hydrant, would you be upset? Of course not. Obviously you are not a fire hydrant, you are a human being. The same concept applies to when someone calls you something that you know you are not. They are foolish for saying such things, so why would you react with such anger? The only exception is when someone calls you something that is true! In this case, you should thank them for alerting you to a weakness, one that you can now work on changing.

I want to add onto this and say "learn to be unaffected by the actions of others" too. People's thoughts, actions, and opinions can't affect you unless you allow yourself to personalize them. Personalizing things means that you give someone else the power to define you - letting another person's decisions or expressions say something about who YOU are as a person. That's probably one of the most hurtful things we can do to ourselves. WE are the only ones that get to say anything about ourselves - no one else defines us.When I notice that I'm allowing myself to feel affected by the words or actions of others, I visualize myself as a shell being rolling back and forth in the tide. Just letting everything pass right around me, rocking me gently while I remain strong at my core. My shell can only be corroded if I continually submit to being pushed around by the tide (refusing to remove myself from toxic situations/people). At my strongest and most balanced, my little legs emerge from the shell, and I scurry away happy and unaffected. Sometimes all we want to do is tuck in our legs and be tossed around by the words and actions of others. At times, it seems so much easier than removing ourselves from the situation. But who really wants to succumb to that sickening tilt-a-whirl? We must gain strength and DESIRE to be the facilitators of our own destiny. We need to stretch out our legs and move towards light. We can't see anything in the dark. The Universe has a beautiful plan for each and every one of us - you aren't going to hear its guidance and see the signs tucked away in that shell.

You are powerful, my little hermit crabs!