Complacency

Lately, I have been particularly connected to my intuitively "wild" nature - my calling to be unleashed and fully expressed. I've been more upfront with my friends and family. I have less of a filter when I'm being asked to fit into a mold. I honor what comes up for me naturally, instead of what I think is expected of me (as a woman, as an employee in a corporate company, as a 25-year-old, as a single girl, etc.). I feel like I CAN'T not be me. It's a beautiful feeling and tendency, and it also causes some discomfort when I'm met with resistance from others. Those people are usually folks who want me to comply, or to be something I'm not, or who are just interested in a "by the book" life. People who live and (superficially) thrive in complacency. I'm talking about the people who see the window office as the end game. The people who prefer the pat on the back or an ego stroke to outstretched arms. Folks who are totally ok climbing into the mold and saying "yes" to every request made of them, because it feels easier to comply than to look inward or carve their own way. You feel me?

I've been that person. I was that student, and I started off as that employee. I was that daughter. I was that friend. I was that girlfriend. But today, I am not that person. And it becomes harder and harder for me to play the now counter-intuitive game that is complacency. I've out grown the comfort zone that was my sandbox and the desire to please everyone else. Now, I live to "please" my intuition - to tap into my gut, where I receive whisperings from the Universe about my personal legend, and see what comes up.

There are times when the ego tries to intercept those messages from my place of deep knowing, and it disguises itself as Truth. When I'm not feeling centered and grounded, I am more likely to listen to the selfish, loveless voice that is the ego. My ego says things like, "Don't ask for too much," "Better not approach him. He might reject you," "Don't eat that," "You are alone," and "You are not worthy." Most recently, I heard my ego say,"You can't go to Burning Man. You aren't cut out for that. You wouldn't be able to handle it." Luckily, after years of perpetuating this ego-driven story, I was finally able to identify it as self-talk, and I felt my intuition say, "This is your year. You are going. It's time to bust through your preconceived notions. There is magic to experience and lessons to learn on the playa." As soon as I chose to listen to my gut, it felt like I was already on the playa. Like it was destiny and I had honored its call. 

Complacency is a place run by the ego. It keeps us "safe" and attempts to numb all pain, fear and discomfort, which the ego tells us are bad or wrong ways to feel. When we are governed by the ego, we are focused on avoiding the experience of shame, aloneness, and unworthiness, so we stay within the bounds of what feels familiar and easy. Sometimes the ego swings the other way, and we experience emotions like being superior, accomplished, or in control. The inner voices FEEDS on emotion, whether love, fear, worry, or excitement. And it usually comes with a heaping side of judgement. It speaks in "don't," "can't," and "shouldn't." The intuition, on the other hand, isn't attached to emotions, because it comes from a pure place where there are no rights and wrongs. There just is. It's connected to the greater energy of the Universe, which is all-knowing, judgement-free, and therefore perfect in every moment. There is no value or good/bad label attached to intuitive messages. When I receive signals from my intuition, I usually experience some combination of "Where did that come from?" and a deep exhale of "Ahhhh, yes. Of course."  Sometimes they feel like they are from left field, which usually means I've recently been playing in that comfort zone sandbox. Other times, when I'm plugged into the Universe (instead feeling separate from it), those messages produce a sensation akin to warm, zenned-out bliss, wherein my feet are already moving toward the path that has been lit for me. It's so hard to put into words, but you know it when you experience it. It seems divine and you can't quite identify where it came from, but it feels like home. It feels like surrender.  

Today and every day, I hope that we can choose awareness and intuition over fear and the ego. I pray that we never sink into stagnant complacency, and that we see every potential connection, situation, and occurrence as an opportunity to learn and go deeper. Even things like your day-to-day activities (driving to work, making dinner, doing laundry) can feel cosmic and wonderful when we make the decision to plug in instead of feeling tossed around. The Universe never ceases to provide omens and whisperings to guide us. Are you listening? Are you willing to change course without the need for conscious reasoning? Or are you fixed on what you know and what feels easy? Get honest with yourself. Your sandcastle looks nice and all, but the real magic happens outside of the sandbox. 

Loving Jagwar Ma <3